winter wonderland

Taking care of two girls today. Six and seven (eight in three weeks). No I'm not their mother. I've become familiar with annoying Disney shows with prepubescent characters. Anyway, I'm SO not ready for my own.

oh jesus.

Beware who you let infiltrate your home.

babies

The more I observe other people's lives and their new human additions, the more I realize how unready I am if I were in their situation. Kids are awesome..it's when they become adults that most of them become egotistical douche bags. I see how much I don't want that kind of life right now.

grateful

So grateful to have an awesome and crazy family. Sometimes I wonder where I fit in amidst all the madness. Happy.

flexeril

Got into a car accident yesterday. A guy ran a red light and hit me. I've only been in one other accident and it was someone who rear-ended me on the 110 in Downtown LA rush hour traffic. It also happened in the month of November. Both incidents were not my fault. This time it was some 21 year old kid. Being in a car accident is so surreal, especially when you don't anticipate the impact. Been on the phone with insurance companies all morning.

Sisters begged me to go to urgent care, just in case I pulled a Natasha Richardson. Thanks Doc, for the Rx. I forgot to mention I hit my head on the door when the guy who crashed into me was looking at his cell phone. Now my shoulders hurt...

reevaluating my priorities

A dirty gin martini and shock top later...

The first time in a long time, I actually have decided to reevaluate...yeah you read the subject heading right. I can see myself doing it, in spite of my previous career choice. Just in spite of it. I never thought I would want to go back to school again. I look back and think that it's the only place I've ever felt like myself. I always wanted to grow. I feel like I know myself now. I know who I am. I can't put up the front anymore. I accept who I am now. I accept myself. It's such a good feeling to know yourself, and accept who you are. And love yourself AND all your eccentricities, habits, and psychotic qualities. Having friends that accept you is like Christmas morning.

FML

Insomniac. Starring yours truly.

hometown glory

Always in a transitional period in my life. I never know what I want, but I always know what I don't. People demand things I can't grant them. Scratch that, won't grant them. Would love to get up and leave, but it's not that easy. Or it is and I...won't.

booties

killjoy

What was I thinking?

is this it?

25 more random thoughts/statements/things/facts/etc.

1. I am grateful for becoming closer to my family this year. September has been especially good to me in this aspect.
2. Last week I was coming off the freeway and gave a homeless man an unopened bottle of water. He mumbled something to the effect of, "fucking warm." Before I could register this, the light turned green and I drove off. I looked back and I saw him chuck the bottle into the side of the off-ramp. I was floored.
3. Ever since high school I use the words affect/effect wrong. It confuses me every time. I don't even know if I used it right in #2.
4. I like watching K-1 (I surprisingly am glued to the TV), but hate watching UFC (I don't want to see two grown men hugging the floor).
5. My birthday is supposed to be a day earlier than it is on my birth certificate.
6. Sick of the cookie-cutter-lookin', victim of the male gaze type grrls.
7. It's okay to let your guard down once and a while.
8. I donate my type O+ blood on the regular.
9. Yellow and rose gold have grown on me...I always thought it was for old ladies...but I guess I'm becoming one.
10. Isn't it annoying when parents/random strangers talk to little kids...like they are little kids? Exaggerated baby talk.
11. I don't go to church, but I experience the presence of God in other ways (i.e. hot yoga, smoking cannabis, sex, riding my bike, etc.).
12. I have the tendency to stand up for people no matter what.
13...is a favorite number of mine.
14. When in love, wears her heart on her sleeve.
15. Favorite color is purple...different shades.
16. Is a registered bone marrow donor...hopes to get picked and save a life.
17. Thinks way too much when she is alone.
18. Just realized this has become a blog in third person.
19. Has had her heart broken not once, but twice.
20. I really love eating leftovers.
21. Aims to be self-sufficient in many aspects of my life.
22. I love the smell of cigarettes, but not cigarette smoke.
23. Inspiration is my motivation.
24. When I used to cry as a kid I would look in the mirror. Watching myself would make me cry even harder. My five year old niece does the same thing.
25. Opens up too much. Perhaps a bad thing, but I'm hoping it turns out to be a good thing.

no good deed goes...

I should have known.

I miss you already!

lost cause

Been feeling high and low lately. I can feel autumn around the corner. I usually would be starting school at this time. There was always something in the air that made me stressed out. A lot of things have happened this year that have made me have hope again and look forward to something bigger. I've always asked myself "Is this it?" I realize I need to discard the word "try" from vocabulary. My five year old niece even told me, "I don't want to hear excuses, I want to see results."

I'm lost. Please let me find my way.

vegas bound

tragedy plus time equals comedy

I'm drinking a diet coke right now because it was the only cold beverage in the house besides water. Now I know why I only drink non-diet soda. I have this bottle of grenadine, but no sprite, therefore no shirley temples I can make. Yes I know I said I would give up soda, which I have for the most part, but sometimes I have cravings understand? Wow pointless information.

I am awaiting confirmation on whether or not my cousin is in Vegas tonight. I may or may not go. Apparently what happens in Vegas does not always stay in Vegas, contrary to popular opinion. I love people with a sense of humor, even during the most sensitive of family matters.

Let's move on to the fun stuff! Lists of random things...

Books I'm reading:
-Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
-Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows
-Outliers: The Story of Success

Things I need to buy:
-travel tissues
-sprite
-panty liners
-Biore face wash
-ULTA eyeliners
-In n' Out license plate frame (for Ka'io)

Countries I want to visit:
-Singapore (very likely)
-Canada
-England
-Italy
-Japan
-Spain

Random wish list (Xmas is coming up):
-Black Steve Madden Aligra boots (cannot find these anywhere, should've got them on eBay when I had the chance)
-MAC 138 brush
-Black Steve Madden Naomi bag
-Raybans 3388
-a new haircut with a thick fringe

Supplements I take:
-Multivitamin
-Iron
-Calcium
-Super B-complex

Rx Medications I take:
-xxxxx-xxx-xxxxx
-xxxxxxx
-xxxxx

It's going to be an interesting rest of the year.

thoughts must manifest actions

"To me, it's like Mike Tyson: he got to the top of the world and shit, and he stopped trainin'. Fuck that, you must never stop trainin'. Well you can stop if you want, if you're happy, but if you wanna go further. All I did was promise to get 'em to there, from this point, it's up to each of them."

-Robert Fitzgerald Diggs aka RZA

dear diary

I used to have a diary with one of those dinky little locks that I got from Sanrio. That's where it all began. Writing. I always preferred the pen to the keyboard, because it was intended for me alone, not anyone else. Just in case I wrote about a certain person I would change their names into fictional ones in my journal. You know, just in case.

I was listening to Adele on iTunes today. After the album was over I hear Aesop Rock's annoying voice. Quickly turned it off of course. A lot of songs, or tracks, as an old friend would say, remind me of my past. I'll listen to, say Labcabincalifornia by the Pharcyde, and that whole album will just remind me of a certain time in my life. It helps to remember who you were, how you've changed over the years, and who you are now. Music.

I'm leaving to Hawaii in two days. Someone asked if i was excited. I said yes and no. In my heart I know I don't deserve to go, but having generous siblings has made it possible. I hope to learn how to surf, get a tan, and swim a lot. Oh and I forgot, take a few pictures.

What is on your tongue is in your heart.

G

This is the only perfume I would ever consider buying...and I haaate perfume. I always spray this shit on at the department stores when I see it.

tink

Should I feel guilty for telling my 5 year old niece that faeries live in my pillbox?

yoga vs. the bike

I keep track of five different cities in the world, as well as its respective weather conditions. That's normal right?

I decided to go riding rather than yoga tonight. Don't know why you bother reading this either. Snore!

25 random things about me.

This was taken from facebook. I figure if you really want to know anything about me, you'll find this. And if you don't care, that's okay too.

1. I keep all cards (birthday, Christmas, etc.) given to me.
2. I keep all things my niece Nalani draws or writes.
3. I dislike people who litter, especially in front of me.
4. I wanted to be in the Olympics as a kid (particularly swimming or gymnastics).
5. When I go outside, I look up at the sky.
6. I remember minute details of people from my past. And I mean very minute details.
7. I dislike music snobs that say they only listen to a certain type of music, or anything but rap or country.
8. I really, really miss our boat named "Sulu Gypsy" we had as kids at Marina Del Rey.
9. I believe in magic...don't get it twisted.
10. Some odd things I like the smell of: fresh paint, dog's paws, rainy days, men's deodorant, rubbing alcohol.
11. I used to be very addicted to World of Warcraft (used to eat, sleep, drink WoW).
12. I am fond of anything copper (mailboxes, jewelry, birdbaths, etc.).
13. The first album I ever bought was "The Bends" by Radiohead.
14. I don't think babies are adorable or cute. Toddlers on the other hand...
15. When I drive late at night by myself, I turn off the radio or whatever it is I'm listening to.
16. I think I'm cheap...I get it from my sometimes frugal parents (ex: always get my CRV back, rebates, never buy anything full price, utilize eBay to it's fullest, etc.).
17. I left my heart in San Francisco.
18. One of the best feelings I've ever had was seeing Björk at Coachella 2002, in a moving sea of Björk fans.
19. My love for others is often mistaken for animosity.
20. I love seeing old people hold hands.
21. I think the words "please" and "thank you" aren't used enough by some people.
22. I loathe going to the dentist (one time I threw up in the dental assistant's hands when I was 8 (it was chicken adobo HAHA)...but I loooove the optometrist/ophthalmologist (the glaucoma test gives me chills every time).
23. I have iPhone envy, mainly because of the applications, but I refuse to leave Verizon! I hear iPhone's coming to VW in 2010 though.
24. My favorite season is winter.
25. I have always wondered where the "red door" originated from. I think I'll find out now.

fat tire

I want this in my garden.

funny things my dad has said:

-"Filipinos don't drink milk."
-"It's a white man's invention. Don't believe in it." (regarding sunscreen)
-"They're all crooks." (regarding Filipino politicians)
-"Delete my facebook. I don't want to be on there. It's for kids."
-"Bullshit!" (while watching ABS-CBN News aka Filipino channel)
-"Filipinos think that if they let go of the gas the car will stop."
-"I don't want to be insured, otherwise someone will kill me."

(will add accordingly)

essentials

gimlets gimlets gimlets

Finally found my cocktail of choice thanks to Grandma Lois <3

say goodbye to dr. pepper

I decided to give up soda. At least for as long as I can. We'll see how long it lasts. Coffee, on the other hand, now that I will never give up.

I went riding with my brothers and bf yesterday. Of course they left me behind, which was what I wanted. Helps me focus on my own pace, meaning going 13 mph without having someone say "hurry up Dre!" I changed my stem and put my seat up higher thanks to the advice of Raul, the Mexican cycling veteran I met around the loop. The first thing he said to me was "left left left!" and I smiled, laughed, and yelled sorry as he swished past me. He came back around and told me to put it in a lighter gear and gave me other useful pointers. I guess not all spandex clad cyclists are assholes!

I woke up last night with a throbbing migraine. The kind that makes you cry because it hurts so much. I haven't had one in a very long time so this was rather interesting to me. I ended up taking some tylenol, then a mild sedative to calm me down. Before I slept I was reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (yeah, yeah, yeah). It was almost as if someone hexed me for about an hour and a half in the middle of the night because I woke up feeling completely fine like it had never happened.

circa 1997

Slowly, but surely, getting back to my old self. I'm happy about that.

a blast from the past

I added a couple of people from elementary school as friends on my facebook...don't know if they will remember me...it's so weird how sometimes I can easily remember first and last names of old friends from about the ages of 6-11. It's more of an experiment really...to see if they accept that is.

On another note, I'm going riding tonight in honor of 'le tour de france.' It's the first time I've actually watched it and it's insane...I wish my km to mile conversions were a little bit faster in my head though. I hear the commentators say that the peloton is going 90 km/h...so I'm thinking to myself...90 km/hr...what's 90 km/hr?? So of course I convert it on my trusty widget since I'm bad at math and..wtf? These riders are going about 56 mph?! Those fans are freakin' hilarious too. I swear if I win that trip to France in 2010 I'm going to make Rob wear a cow suit and run as far as he can next to Lance.

these lines, albeit hilarious, really did move me.

Taraji P. Henson as Sharice Watters in "Smokin' Aces"
Alicia Keys as Sykes

WATTERS
You just goin' grin? Y'ain't goin
comment on that, at all? Trampy ass
skeezers, doin' damage they ain't
even smart enough to see. That don't
gall you at all?
(beat, closer)
Bitches like those are the same ones
runnin' feminism right to the brink
girl. Bitches like that the reason
mafuckas don't take our species
seriously. We jus' meat for male
consumption, we jus' pieces a'ass
and pussy, somethin' pretty in
lipstick and eye liner can suck cock.

Sykes, embarrassed, nudging Watters, knock-it-off...

WATTERS
Bitches like that make me weep for
what could be-- if we could all,
sisters everywhere, black, white,
yellow and brown, put our shit down
one time, unified front, the force
of the female race, mobilized, moving
as one...

The woman, smile severely strained, the pro-feminist diatribe falling on decidedly deaf ears. An awkward beat, then;

SYKES
I'm gonna need a mini-bar key too.

purple beauty

I need to get my ass on this bike and start riding again...why am I typing about it and not DOING it? Oh yes...I'm waiting for dusk to hit.

my brother takes the best pictures.

Two of my favorite things: Rob & a glass of wine. A person can be a "thing" sometimes right?